Tips for Raising Considerate Children

It's that time of year again when we give thanks for our many blessings. We express our gratitude and many of us reach out to others in need in the spirit of giving. One day a year is nice, but how can we encourage our children to be more grateful, caring and considerate all year long?

Help encourage considerate behavior with these tips from the Triple P Positive Parenting Program, generously funded by The Children’s Trust:

Children demonstrate consideration for others when they:

• Listen
• Share and let others have a turn
• Ask what others would like to do
• Wait when others are busy
• Think about others' feelings
• Help others
• Are friendly and welcoming
• Help out at home

Parents can encourage consideration by doing the following:

• Modeling being considerate yourself. Children are sponges and they are very much aware of your behavior.
• Avoid criticizing others. Set an example and let them know that accepting others for who they are is important.
• Point out others’ good points. Focus on the positive.
• Provide opportunities to show caring. Thanksgiving or any other holiday is a great time to do this, but opportunities exist every day. Simply holding the door open for someone or saying "thank you" frequently will send a clear message.
• Praise your child for being kind or helpful. By recognizing and reinforcing their positive behavior, you are likely to see more of it.
• Ask your child about his or her feelings. Show your children that you care about them and that will encourage them to follow suit.
• Encourage your child to make amends. 
• Provide a consequence for inconsiderate or hurtful behavior. This is very important - but even more importantly, make sure you enforce that consequence in a calm and clear-headed manner.

Source - Triple P Positive Parenting Program

Here are 14 tips for both parents and kids for coping with stress from the Anxiety & Depression Association of America.

1. Take a time-out. Practice yoga, listen to music, meditate, get a massage, or learn relaxation techniques. Stepping back from the problem helps clear your head.
2. Eat well-balanced meals. Do not skip any meals. Do keep healthful, energy-boosting snacks on hand.
3. Limit alcohol and caffeine, which can aggravate anxiety and trigger panic attacks.
4. Get enough sleep. When stressed, your body needs additional sleep and rest.
5. Exercise daily to help you feel good and maintain your health.
6. Take deep breaths. Inhale and exhale slowly.
7. Count to 10 slowly. Repeat, and count to 20 if necessary.
8. Do your best. Instead of aiming for perfection, which isn't possible, be proud of however close you get.
9. Accept that you cannot control everything. Put your stress in perspective: Is it really as bad as you think?
10. Welcome humor. A good laugh goes a long way.
11. Maintain a positive attitude. Make an effort to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
12. Get involved. Volunteer or find another way to be active in your community, which creates a support network and gives you a break from everyday stress.
13. Learn what triggers your anxiety. Is it work, family, school, or something else you can identify? Write in a journal when you’re feeling stressed or anxious, and look for a pattern.
14. Talk to someone. Tell friends and family you’re feeling overwhelmed, and let them know how they can help you. Talk to a physician or therapist for professional help.

Source: The Anxiety & Depression Association of America

Character Education Lessons are in full swing at OCS.  

Mr. Kenney & Mrs. Saraiva went into all homeroom classes from Kindergarten to Eighth grade for the month of October.  The C.O.R.R.E.C.T. value trait that we focused on was COURAGE!!!  We all need to have courage every day of our lives from a little bit of courage to a lot of courage.

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face."  Eleanor Roosevelt

Kindergarten - We read a story about what it means to be afraid and how do we show courage.

1st & 2nd Grade - We discussed courage and respect, how we are different and the same as our classmates.  We read a Frog & Toad book.

3rd - 5th Grade - We did a lesson about "What Courage Is Needed".  We had the children share what words or images pop into their mind when they think of courage.  We talked about positive, good choices to make so we can be strong citizens every day.  There were 3 signs posted around the classroom (1- a little courage, 2- some courage, and 3- a lot of courage).  The students were given different situations that they might have to deal with as a student and how much courage would it take to act assertively (confidently) for each given situation.  They went to the sign that they felt was best for them -- there were no right or wrong answers because it dealt with how each child felt.

6th - 8th Grade - What do you Stand For Book -- What does Courage Mean?
We read about the three types of courage -- physical, mental and moral.  We read Profiles in Courage about famous people that showed courage -- Sir Isaac Newton, Admiral Richard E. Byrd, Rosa Parks and Thomas Edison, etc.  We discussed Character Dilemmas that middle school students face and what would they do in that particular situation.  Finally, we did some skits -- where the students were broken into groups and performed different skits for the class on courage scenarios (i.e.: admitting mistakes, meeting new people, standing up to peer pressure, sticking up for someone, etc.)

The month of November will be OPTIMISM......

It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up.  Vince Lombardi

Lunch Bunch

Welcome back students!!!

This will be a fun and exciting year at OCS. 

Mr. Kenney and Mrs. Saraiva are happy to start up Lunch Bunch this school year.  Lunch Bunch will begin the week of October 1^st.  

There will be two different groups for both Mr. Kenney and Mrs. Saraiva.  We will each have a group that consists of 2^nd and 3^rd graders together and 4^th and 5^th graders in their own group. 

The groups will last for eight weeks. 

So if you aren’t in the first group, please be patient.

What is the Conflict Cycle? And why should you care?

Parenting is probably the hardest job you were never trained for.  When we become parents we are understandably full of excitement and joy, looking forward to all the fulfillment of raising a family. Often we aren't prepared for the inevitable conflicts that arise.

The following information is adapted from the webiste of Life Space Crisis Intervention (LSCI), a program that trains educators and parents how to use problems to help children and teens grow and learn.

The Conflict Cycle describes what happens in times of stress and conflict, when a kid can create in adults the same feelings the kid is having. If not prepared, adults will mirror their child's behaviors.  In the heat of the moment, when adults do what comes naturally–what thousands of years of evolution have prepared their bodies to do–they often only make matters worse.  That is why understanding the Conflict Cycle is the first line of defense against fueling further conflict.

THE CONFLICT CYCLE

… 

1.

An incident occurs (frustration, failure, etc.) that ACTIVATES a child’s irrational beliefs (e.g.,

“Nothing good ever happens to me,” “Adults are unfair!”), which in turn defines it as a stressful incident.

2.

These negative beliefs and thoughts determine and TRIGGER the intensity of the student’s feelings.

3.

These intense feelings – not the student’s rational forces – DRIVE his or her inappropriate behaviors.

4 The inappropriate behaviors (yelling, threatening, sarcasm, refusing to speak)

INCITE adults.

5 Adults not only pick up the student’s feelings, but also they frequently

MIRROR the student’s behaviors (yell back, threaten, etc.).

6 These negative adult

REACTIONS increase the student’s level of stress, escalating the conflict into a selfdefeating crisis.

7 Although the student may lose this battle (i.e., he or she is punished), the student wins the war! His or her

SELF‐FULFILLING PROPHECY (irrational belief about adults) is REINFORCED. Therefore, the student has no motivation to change or alter the irrational beliefs or the inappropriate behaviors.

You can learn more about the conflict cycle and how to avoid it by going to www.lsci.org .

The Top 10 Anti Bullying Tips for Victims

The Top 10 Anti Bullying Tips for Victims

WRITTEN BY: JAMES H BURNS - MAR• 10•13

IDENTIFY the difference between jokes and serious statements.

CHOOSE friends with caution. Friends can be bullies, too.

WALK AWAY because your self respect is important to your well-being.

ACCEPT an apology from a bully only when you feel they deserve it.

EXPRESS your feelings appropriately, don’t let it get to the point where you seek revenge.

DOCUMENT any acts of bullying that you observe because journaling can help in problem solving

PARTICIPATE in activities that you enjoy and that you do well.

SEEK HELP and don’t take overwhelming matters into your own hands.

ARCHIVE threatening text, emails, or facebook post in case they are ever needed later.

FACE your fears by asking yourself what you are really afraid of.

What We Can All Learn About Problem Solving From A Three Year Old

Sometimes the best solutions are so simple – even toddlers can understand them. A friend of Informed Families recently shared a wonderful problem solving technique her three-year-old daughter learned at school. The little girl held out her hand, pointed to each finger and named in “three year old” terms a five step solution to dealing with any problem that comes her way.

While the problems of a three year old are much simpler than adults face, I believe in problem-solving techniques as a decision making mechanism.

Problem-solving in five steps:

1. Calm down
2. Identify the problem
3. Brainstorm a solution
4. Pick a solution and try it out
5. Test its efficacy

This is from Informed Families website.

Optimism Workout

Hello,

This is a special shout out to our Respectful Replacements today that lead us in our Character Education - Optimism Workout.  

Thank you so much -- Megan & Anthony.  You did an AWESOME job!!!

Mrs. Saraiva
1/30/13